Have you ever met a "body whisperer"? Prepare yourself, because Ruth Cummings' perspective is SUCH an eye opened. A leadership coach and body advocate, Ruth has spent the last three decades unraveling the mysteries of how our physical and mental states intertwine. It's a raw, hilarious, and deeply insightful conversation that'll leave you looking at your own body—and struggles—in a whole new light.
Can't-miss moments:
Ruth's bio:
Ruth is a Body Advocate, Body Mind Coach, Massage Therapist & Young Adult Mentor who helps leadership teams create inspiring company cultures that their teams align with, fight for, get excited about & can’t wait to be a part of.
She is the founder of Athletic Touch Therapeutic Massage & Coaching & has worked over 50,000 hours with professional athletes, CEOs, young adults & teams worldwide teaching how our body & mind communication can have a profound affect on our success & failure.
Ruth teaches how to actively access our peak performance by interpreting communication from our body that we have learned to ignore.
Ruth is based in Albuquerque, New Mexico and is available for speaking & team building opportunities across the US, global and virtual summits, podcasts & healing retreats.
Resources and links:
Let's collab:
Let's connect:
If you dig the show and want to help bring more episodes to the world, consider buying a coffee for the production team!
Have you ever met a "body whisperer"? Prepare yourself, because Ruth Cummings' perspective is SUCH an eye opened. A leadership coach and body advocate, Ruth has spent the last three decades unraveling the mysteries of how our physical and mental states intertwine. It's a raw, hilarious, and deeply insightful conversation that'll leave you looking at your own body—and struggles—in a whole new light.
Can't-miss moments:
Ruth's bio:
Ruth is a Body Advocate, Body Mind Coach, Massage Therapist & Young Adult Mentor who helps leadership teams create inspiring company cultures that their teams align with, fight for, get excited about & can’t wait to be a part of.
She is the founder of Athletic Touch Therapeutic Massage & Coaching & has worked over 50,000 hours with professional athletes, CEOs, young adults & teams worldwide teaching how our body & mind communication can have a profound affect on our success & failure.
Ruth teaches how to actively access our peak performance by interpreting communication from our body that we have learned to ignore.
Ruth is based in Albuquerque, New Mexico and is available for speaking & team building opportunities across the US, global and virtual summits, podcasts & healing retreats.
Resources and links:
Let's collab:
Let's connect:
If you dig the show and want to help bring more episodes to the world, consider buying a coffee for the production team!
Welcome to Permission to Kick Ass, the show that gives you a virtual seat at the bar for the real conversations that happen between entrepreneurs. I'm interviewing all kinds of business owners, from those just a few years into freelancing to CEOs helming nine figure companies. If you've ever worried that everyone else just seems to get it and you're missing something or messing things up, this show is for you. I'm your host, angie Coley, and let's get to it and welcome back to Permission to Kick-Ass. With me today is my good friend, ruth Cummings. Say hi, hello, oh, I love that. Let's just do the voice mic for a second. The mic voice.
Ruth Cummings:Yeah, I like the ASMR asmr.
Angie Colee:Oh yeah, I like some of the asmr but I'm not a big fan of like the clicky nails ones.
Ruth Cummings:That for some reason drives me nuts my daughter listens to it all the time and I'm sometimes I'm subjected, so uh, but yeah, I've heard a lot of like that. Yeah, it's not my favorite, but I'm around it a lot.
Angie Colee:Different strokes for different folks. We're not being judgy, but we're being kind of judgy. It's okay. I can tell this one is going to be full of so many great tangents. I'm looking forward to it so much.
Ruth Cummings:But before I get entirely lost down the rabbit hole, please tell us a little bit about you and what you do. Perfect Thanks for having me on, angie. It's been so much fun hanging out with you the last year or so. So I'm a leadership coach. I am a peak performance coach and I do that through body, mind, iq. How well do you know your body and how well is your mind and your body trusting itself? How much are they being a team? And yeah'll be surprised, maybe you won't how much are our bodies and our minds aren't communicating in the society?
Angie Colee:so my goal really is to spread compassionate leadership with those, uh, by using body, mind, iq I love that well, and I have a deeply personal experience with that that I will share in just a second. That is probably going to make Ruth laugh a lot, but it might surprise you to know. So we met last year at a conference hosted by Ron Reich in San Antonio, and back then my biggest concern was I've got a book, I need to find a book, I need to release this. I need to find a partner. I was super stressed about this book and so this book I actually do have a small piece of one chapter.
Angie Colee:That's like you need to be aware of how these things manifest in your body Because, like for me stress and anxiety I can tell when they're rolling in because I got like that pinch behind my right shoulder that shows up first If I'm super anxious. It's like a fluttering in my stomach followed by like I think I could throw up at any second. Seriously, so when those things kick in for me, I know I'm feeling some strong feelings. It's time to check in and see what we can do about managing this. But I'm nowhere near an expert. That is just my amateur hour observations about like hey, my body's trying to tell me something, usually well before my mind kicks in and says something is wrong here.
Ruth Cummings:Yeah, I mean, we are, as a culture, taught to ignore that, so it's really interesting. So I've been a massage therapist. This is my 30th year, maybe my 31st, so a long time, three decades and that's how I come up with this. I've worked on tens of thousands of people and over 40,000 hours of work on people and it's just amazing because what I found is like I work on a lot of professional athletes, but I also work on people and it's. It's just amazing because what I found is like I work on a lot of professional athletes, but I also work on a lot of entrepreneurs and CEOs and these big company people and they, when they have the stress, when they have stress right, if you have a, you know you're a quarterback and you you lose a game, like you missed what you're supposed to do, and then you're a CEO and you miss a launch or you have to fire somebody, like a really big, stressful thing. Their bodies hurt the same and that's what's really cool.
Ruth Cummings:I've been able to bring those specific things that I find in professional athletes and bring it to the CEO and say, hey, as a leader, this is how you could change your body to be better with people, to be better with yourself. We start with the self, like if you could be compassionate with yourself, then you're going to be way better at being compassionate with others, and so I don't sell it that way because they don't want to hear it first. You know at the beginning. But that's really what I'm leading up to is how compassionate are you with yourself, and then how does that translate with your leadership?
Angie Colee:So, oh, I get big, like all kinds of fired up, big mad about the topic of self-compassion, because what I hear from so many and the thing that frustrates me the most is these are some of the kindest, biggest hearted bend over backwards to do something for another human being, to stop them from suffering.
Angie Colee:They are the hardest on themselves and, like you, piece of crap I'm pointing for anybody that's listening, I'm pointing at myself. You, big piece of crap, you don't deserve this because you failed in XYZ ways and we're constantly beating ourselves up with that internal chatter. And one thing that I've learned with all the self-development that I've done and all the programs I've been in like we're in a mastermind together is learn that I don't have to think these thoughts and that's been wonderfully freeing. Like just because it pops into my brain doesn't mean that it's a thing that needs to be thought right now. I'm not about to follow this down the emotional downward spiral and get all kinds of out of control. So I will think these thoughts when I'm ready to process them and deal with them, and until then we're just going to keep it up.
Ruth Cummings:Yes, that's the. What's interesting is that there's a. What I've, what I'm an expert at, is how the body responds to those feelings and those thoughts. So it's not just the thought, like there's a mindset coach, there's many, many mindset coaches, and so that's cool, like you can have those feelings, you can have those thoughts. But what I want to show people is that you can, you can figure this out before it happens, because your, your body's going to give you hints. So, like I, I also coach soccer for um, I have three uh soccer championships in my state for high school girls soccer, and I have one tennis high school girls high school girls tennis championship, and what I'm most proud of is that they had zero injuries.
Ruth Cummings:Why did they have zero injuries? Because I am an expert at the stretches, the um, oh, the dynamic warm-up. Dynamic warm-up is like my middle name and so, as a drummer and as an athlete, if you can warm up your body at a specific, in specific ways, you're not going to get injured. And even if you do get injured, you're going to heal quicker, like immediately not immediately, but sooner. And so, watching how people heal, I've been able to transfer that and say OK, ceo, leader, leader of your family, leader of your body, ceo leader, leader of your family, leader of your body. Why is it? Or how can you prep and, before you execute, figure out what's happening in your body before you execute, before you fire the person, before you go on stage, before you do your soccer game, so before you're a mom and you're about to tell your kid that they're they're in trouble or whatever. Before you execute that, how are you doing a dynamic warmup with your body? And so that's what I'm. I'm really good at that and so it's really fun because I keep finding different words for it. You know, people call me a body whisperer and they call me I'm.
Ruth Cummings:My podcast is called your body advocate, and when I start my my presentations, I'm always saying I'm an advocate for your body, I'm not an advocate for your mind. I am here talking to your body because we are taught in, especially in America, but across the world I have international clients. We, we, we ignore our intuition so we can, like you said, go, go, go, go, go, go. You have to succeed, you have to do this, and in order to do that, you're ignoring your own health, you're ignoring all the red flags that go up and it's just a. It's so fascinating. I'm just I'm just thrilled about it and I'm excited about spreading this. I was spreading this with.
Ruth Cummings:I work with a lot of teens and like athletes from, I'd say, you know, like 13 through 30. And that's an age that's. There's a lot of stuff happening at that age group, you know, and but I realized that actually in our masterminds that I needed to talk to the people who were leading them, and not just those guys, I mean they're. We've had, we have four adopted kids. We call them they're, I'm their mentor, my, my husband is their mentor and we we've, we take them in and we we consider them our kids and and we've taught them how to be a respectful human in the world. And not everybody's getting those lessons. And so again, I'm back to the compassionate leadership. Start with yourself, do it in your home, do it in your first circles, and then, for sure, do it at work and spread love and kindness. That's what I'm all about.
Angie Colee:Absolutely. I am here for it. Let the people say amen. I will be up on the soapbox advocating for that. Everything too, amen. And that's funny what I said earlier too.
Angie Colee:I want to circle back and clarify, just in case anybody mistakes, what I said for shoving emotions down and not dealing with them. When I say that, I recognize that I'm feeling a feeling and I don't have to think that thought right now. I'm not suppressing it, I'm not avoiding it. I'm saying right now I'm not going to be hijacked by this and I'm not going to let this basically take control of my entire operating system. I'm going to continue as is for now and I'm going to note as is for now and I'm going to note this is something that needs to be dealt with, because it came up in a pretty powerful way. I'm going to come back to this later, when I've got some time to think about it in process. So I just wanted to clarify that, like that popped up into my head, and I wanted to bring it up as important because, exactly like what you said at the beginning, a lot of the pain that we don't deal with shows up in different ways in our body, and this is how I found myself right.
Angie Colee:Here comes the copywriting hook, sobbing on stage in front of a mastermind group of about 50 people, with Ruth just putting was it like two fingers on a pectoral muscle? Yep, and I'm sitting here doing it in the same spot that she touched me roughly, for anybody that's watching the video. And I'm sitting here doing it in the same spot that she touched me roughly, for anybody that's watching the video. And I'm like this doesn't hurt. Why did it hurt? Why did I start crying when Ruth touched me there? I don't know what's going on. Can you speak to that a little bit? I can give some more context if you need it, but I'm curious about how that all happened?
Ruth Cummings:Well, you know it's not. So I think one thing about a body whisperer or any body worker out there it takes a lot of practice to know where to touch you and then what pressure to use. And so, very specifically, I was working on a grief meridian, so it's the L, it's the large intestine, and I'm working on a several areas in that area of your body. And so you say a few words and I know what lines in your body are going to be tight and I know how to like. It's like putting two, like if you're at a kid's museum and you're in the electronics part and you put, you want it to get the light bulb on, and you like match this to this, and all of a sudden the light bulb goes on. That's what I'm doing. I'm just touching those area in your body, I'm just letting your body again. I'm speaking to your body with very gentle touch, saying hey, I'm listening, I am right here and I know that you're hurting here and maybe you're hurting here. And then it goes and uh, and the body's like, oh, my God, someone's listening. And all of a sudden your body feels safe and heard and acknowledged and all those words, and then the healing can start to unravel and the onion layers can start to come off.
Ruth Cummings:So it's a fascinating thing because it's really easy to do right here, because there's so much held Right here. You hold all things that need to be said and so and the neck holds all communication, anything you need to hear, anything you need to say, and when you don't say what you need to say, it creates this, this tension right here, and if you don't swallow, if you don't internalize, if you don't digest what you need to hear, it also gets stuck. So there's, there's a lot going on right here, and so you know it's, it's easy to, once you're trained in it, to really to really be honorable to the body and to to give it what it needs in a very gentle, sincere, calm, loving way, and and I just love doing that, it's a's a, it's an honor, and thank you for letting me work on you yeah, like I truly had no idea what to expect when I volunteered for that.
Angie Colee:So like the full context for everybody listening is we're at a private mastermind event or a private event in san antonio and it's a three-day event where we're focusing on mindset strategy and execution. Right, and this is the end of mindset day and we've got got a whole bunch of we've got you on stage, we've got spiritual folks, we've got intuitive folks, we've got mindset coach on stage doing a panel and all of a sudden they ask for a volunteer and I was in the back of the room getting coffee and I just see everybody kind of looking at each other like who's going to go up? And before I even knew it was happening, my hand was raised and I'm like what the no, don't do that. And they call me up on stage. So I get up there and I'm like my my go-to when I'm feeling nervous or overwhelmed is to just like crack jokes all the time. And I think everybody on stage picked up that like I'm scared, I'm cracking jokes, I'm like I'm being the entertainer as a default.
Angie Colee:And, um, when Sasha Lipskaya was talking to me and then you were working on me, what came up was and this is why I all of this shame that I had from and I've mentioned it on the podcast before, but like a business partnership that didn't go the way that I wanted it to and I had taken that super personally like a sign that I am a failure.
Angie Colee:I don't know what I'm doing and I hid it from the world because I was ashamed of it. And it all came out that day and I had so many people that came up to me afterwards and were like, oh girl, I could tell you a story. Oh, you are so far from alone. And that was just such a great reminder of like you're never going through anything totally by yourself. Somebody out there in the world understands what you feel and has been through something similar. And shame does you no good. Like you're suffering in silence. Shame thrives in the shadows. Shine a light on that shit and let people in to help you clear that out and keep moving forward. That was a rant I didn't expect, but there's your context.
Ruth Cummings:Well, you know, I agree with you that there's so many people out here that can help that and to speak to you know, I didn't know if you were going to say what was what was going on, so I, I was being gentle, but I remember. What I asked you was do you feel betrayed? Do you have betrayal in your life? And that's in a very specific spot between the shoulder blades and the, and it's like that spot that you can't get because you've been stabbed in the back.
Ruth Cummings:So, it's right where your back would, where, like you'd be like, oh, you can't grab it. So anybody who can't, who's just listening, I'm trying to grab something in the middle of my back and so that area, um it, it shoots straight through to the front and that's why that's why I was able to find those and um. So if you're feeling pain or this, this, this chronic uh, uh, nagging, uh, knife pain in your back, then I would suggest looking at, um, um, some type of betrayal in your life sometime. It could be as early as, I'd say, three years old.
Ruth Cummings:And then you can look at it and see if, if that also comes to the front. But if you can work it out on yourself by thinking about betrayal and really working on that, writing it out, talking it out to yourself or things like that, that's how someone, that's how you could fix betrayal on yourself for anybody listening.
Angie Colee:So well, and is that betrayal in a like, a self sense, like you feel betrayed by your own instincts? Is it external betrayal from somebody else? Is it a combination of the two? I'm really curious about that.
Ruth Cummings:All betrayal by God, by, by society, um by, yeah, for sure, we got the inner circle. You know, you have yourself like, okay, all right, this week I'm going to exercise every day and not have pizza, and you know, then you don't. And there's this betrayal. That's a that's one that I use on stage, because we can all relate to that where you just keep betraying yourself, you keep betraying yourself. So that's one of them.
Ruth Cummings:The next one is like inner circle Parents betray us a lot. Siblings betray us a lot. Next one is like inner circle Parents betray us a lot. Siblings betray us a lot. Stuff in work. But you know, like, for me, I feel betrayed by God, I feel betrayed by the medical system, as my husband has passed away after seven misdiagnoses of cancer, so like that, yeah, my back hurts a lot, sister, so like there's. So you can be betrayed by the news. You can be betrayed by a lot. The betrayal is a big part of our society and being able to have it roll off you like a duck uh, I haven't found many people that are able to do that very well.
Angie Colee:So that would be.
Ruth Cummings:That is the truth yeah, I'm, I'm just putting together um a body mind, iq test, body mind. So like, how good are you? That would be a number 10? You're number 10 or number nine, if you can let that roll off you. Someone betrays you and you're like oh, I got this. Yeah, I'm not there yet.
Angie Colee:But me either. Oh my god, I'm around. A four in betrayal, like yeah, no I want to punch you in the same level yeah, I'm gonna punch you in the private parts.
Ruth Cummings:That's kind of how I feel about betrayal. My gosh.
Angie Colee:That's so funny, given A topic that came up yesterday I wrote about on social media that I had a couple of instances and these are kind of like a betrayal of the people that I spoke to, given that I'm very upfront about who I am and I was on one podcast where somebody for some reason photoshopped a tweed jacket on me and a necklace. The necklace is like an extra fantastic touch. I don't understand, but like they photoshopped this on me and I was very much struggling with. Do I go tell them like this is not okay. Why didn't you talk to me? I would have submitted other photos if you didn't like the one that I did. So there was that situation.
Angie Colee:And then yesterday I had somebody give me an article draft to review where they had sanitized one of my stories, and by sanitized I mean I had said I had a life-changing epiphany at a business event when I was at a bar. I got a little bit tipsy and I wound up. I still don't know how this came up, but I wound up telling a story about getting into a mosh pit fight. You saying junk punch is what reminded me of this and they took that out and said you know, when I told people about the rock show I'd been to they, they leaned in and I was like, no.
Angie Colee:When I told people about the mosh pit fight, they leaned in and that was the thing I was ashamed to share with people, because I'm like are they going to think that I'm violent? Are they going to think that I've got anger? What are people going to think of me now that I have just like, let the cat out of the bag? And apparently what people think about me is she's funny and like she doesn't take any guff from anybody. And, to be fair, all of the mosh pit fights I've been in multiple. So you go, girl, there've been three.
Angie Colee:It's not like I'm out there fighting every weekend Also like recovery time in your 40s versus recovery time in your 20s. There's a big difference.
Ruth Cummings:But yeah, in my 20s it was self-defense.
Angie Colee:So, oh gosh, where was it? Oh, shame, tied into that too, and a little bit of betrayal in working with those folks of like. No, I've done a lot of inner work to be comfortable with the fact that I am very unconventional. I've been told all my life I am too much of this or not enough of that. Change everything about who you are to make me comfortable.
Ruth Cummings:So now that I'm finally comfortable, people who are still uncomfortable with me and uncomfortable with themselves, try to change my image on my behalf and it pisses me off.
Ruth Cummings:I've been working with that my whole life. We were talking about this a little earlier because I was born in Germany and in Germany in those years I was a soccer player and my I have an older brother and we were. I was going to his soccer practices and at seven the the German society and and they wouldn't, they would let me practice, but they wouldn't let me play, and it it just broke my heart and I can remember being there already. It was like and they're like you're not a boy, I'm like nope. And they're like, well, you can't play, I'm like what? And that kind of started this this down, you know downhill. If you tell me I can't, um, no, and so it just started like I, I just, I could care less what people think and I just do what I, what I am drawn to do and so that's not always easy to do and for sure I go into this.
Ruth Cummings:Oh my god, are you? Should you say that? Oh what? No, you should just quit, you should just just be quiet. Just be quiet, and like that's my little me and um, I went on to, you know, play soccer, coach soccer, and then my um, I did the same thing in drumming.
Ruth Cummings:I had ADHD and I still have. I just I'm very, you know, hyper and as a kid that was really really hard, and one of the things that helped that was becoming a drummer. My grandfather was a drummer, but I didn't know that until later. So I paid for a lot of things in high school, paid for a lot of things in college and just have so much fun. And I'm still drumming now. And that really helped my massage, if you can consider. So my hands were really strong. I go to massage school. I have the strongest hands of anybody there.
Ruth Cummings:But then the other thing that I recognized, like a year later, is that I could hear rhythms with each separate finger and that was so cool and that also has helped me do what I do now is because I can see how you respond Over here. If I'm holding your body. I can see how you respond If I say, hey, how was work today? And there's things that tense in your body. I can tell the difference between different spots, and so that's why I'm able to connect them. So I'm like you know the things that that I was drawn to do in my, my journeys. I'm just so excited because they were meant to be, they were, they were in in the exact place they were supposed to be, and if I hadn't been a drummer, I wouldn't be here right now. And so you know, I I like fighting. Unfortunately, I would probably not. I should not be around any mosh pit fights. Let's, let's not do that. I would protect everybody.
Angie Colee:I used to joke about that in in my 20s. Right, I grew up a very angry child and I'm not sure I'm sure that's fairly obvious, evident by the way I conduct myself these days. I've done a lot of work to heal that, but in my 20s I was still a very angry, spiteful person and a lot of what drove me was anger and spite. Tell me I can't do it. I freaking dare you. Tell me I can't do it. It's what kept me in the fire department long after I realized I wasn't really born to be a firefighter, because other people told me we're trying to make you quit. We don't think women belong here, we don't think you're strong enough, we don't think that you're capable enough. And I was like watch me lift this car with my butt, I'll show you how strong I am. But that drove me for so long.
Angie Colee:And so this is actually what directly led to those mosh pit fights is that was a safe space to let out the anger. That's exactly what people expected in a mosh pit, and there's three basic rules. All right, we're going into mosh pit lore, we're just going to be musicians today, right? There's three basic rules. If they fall down, pick them up because we don't want anybody getting broken bones, getting run over and I've actually fallen down before and had the crowd break around me and pick me back up so that that happens. The second rule is if they want in, let them in, and the third rule is if they want out, let them out. It's like basic rules of how to conduct yourself.
Angie Colee:And I would go to these shows and, like, literally stand on the edge and if they were having fun in the mosh pit, shove them back in. Like we got a little bit of controlled aggression here. We're all having a good time, and the first time that all of this happened, somebody punched me in the face and tried to take a drumstick that I had caught, that the band I was there to see had thrown out. I caught this drumstick. He sucker, punched me, grabbed the stick and tried to take it out of my hand, and so it's like. I don't think so. That is not what is happening today. You picked the wrong one Again. This is Angie and her angry days. I really don't think I would be fighting like that these days. I don't think I would be in a pit these days. I would hurt too much.
Ruth Cummings:That sounds very effective. Effective for anger management too. We got to get that out.
Angie Colee:sometimes A sanctioned place to get it out know, that's what I've been learning over the past several years too is like sometimes, when the feelings are too big, I just need to get it out physically, and I've done that through dance, I've done that through drives, I've done that through literally like raking the lawn and singing at the top of my lungs name neighbors, be damned. Um, whatever you got to do to move it through.
Ruth Cummings:This is amateur hour on my half, but I'll tell you, singing, you know, singing is a huge way. You can do it in the shower, in the car, to get things out that you're not saying. You don't actually have to say what you need to say, you just need to move these tissues in your throat so, like you could hum. That's why you know the om, om, so hum is is I think that's what it's called is so good because it moves different parts of the throat. It hums um, and then you can change the, the, the, the tone, and it gets out different styles of emotion in your body.
Ruth Cummings:so, oh, that's fascinating you should check that out, go, go, look at those like how to hum, hum and sing it like, then you know, the high notes will do certain ones, the low notes will do certain ones and you can actually hum so that it it makes your chest, uh, vibrate here, vibrate the middle of your throat, vibrate, under your chin vibrate. Yeah, so that's probably why you love to sing, because it has allowed you in a, in a, in a beautiful way, to get rid of all that anger towards whomever, and it just goes. And then, and do you feel good after you sing?
Angie Colee:I feel fantastic, Like it was such a surprise when all this came up. Actually, it came up with Brian McCarthy, who's a friend of yours and a friend of mine. Um, we were talking about when I get sucked into anxiety spirals or I'm feeling not my best, or it's like how do I get myself back into a state? What are common things that I use to feel better?
Angie Colee:And I was the one to bring up the fact that I really one of my favorite things on the planet is driving somewhere with the windows down and the music up and singing at full volume, not caring what I look like. I don't care If you see me driving by and I'm scream, singing into the wind, mind your business or sing along, who cares? But like I don't care what you think and it just I don't know. It's kind of like letting all of the air out of a balloon. Instead of being scared it's going to burst and and their catastrophe will take over everything, it just lets it all out, takes all the pressure off and I feel great afterward, even if all I've been singing was angry songs right.
Ruth Cummings:It's interesting because you already you were taking care of your body. You know, without even knowing it. It wasn't on purpose, but you were doing it and you were doing it on purpose. But I, I'm just telling you, you guys were like a team right there and you were like, hey, what I need and I would really like to sing. Okay, that's a great idea. That's a little conversation going on and then it, you know it's, it's such a loving, uh, it's a gift to yourself and that's a great way to have compassion for yourself is for you to go sing while you're driving. So good for you.
Angie Colee:That reminds me of the time that I read a book called Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics. Because, first of all, what an awesome title. Second of all, I grew up in South Texas, where everything related to what we're talking about today is, quote, unquote, hippie, dippy bullshit. That is like it's all lumped together spiritual woo woo, nonsense, right, and I have come to understand that it is the farthest thing from woo woo like nonsense made up stuff. There's actual reasons why all of this stuff works works in conjunction with our brains, with the way that we understand our bodies. I'm reading this book and I remember he would talk about certain tactics that he used to calm himself down and I would go that's meditation. Well crap, I've been doing that Like I had my own version of that when I was losing my apartment in LA before I became a copywriter.
Angie Colee:I would wake up in the middle of the night with my thoughts already racing, like have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and you're already thinking thoughts from a dead sleep? So that's what would happen. I would be thinking about all of the consequences of I'm running out of money, I don't know what to do, I'm running out of time, and I came up with this mantra where I would just say strength, peace, faith in myself, and I would repeat that over and, over and over, while trying to breathe very slow and deep, and eventually I would fall asleep and I'd like wake up in the morning going okay, cool, we needed more rest. The rest is more helpful than staying up all night worrying, which is not actually helpful.
Ruth Cummings:So this is amazing, see, you're, you're, you're a natural, you're natural and it's like you know that, that we all have this. I mean this, like you said right at the beginning, that way that we beat each other up, we beat ourselves up. You know we're, we're the, that's the. You know, I work with a lot of teens and their parents and one of the things that I talk to them about is like, don't they are beating themselves up enough, like if you, if you continue that their body, just it just starts to wither. But if you give them, you know, consequences with love. Then there's like just affirmations. You know, I just think you're so beautiful, I just think you're, I love your smile, I like the way, I love the way you hug and I'm, you're really good at concentrating just little things. Those are what lift them up. And then, you know, I was also going to say, like you know, the um, I was in massage school. So I went to massage school. I was an athlete, all I wanted to do was sports massage. So, in, when you talk about woo, woo, there were the classes in the, in the, in the, this massage school, which was awesome, that I was taking, where the classes were about to be on energy and energy healing and you know what to do. There is like the beginning of that class and I went up as a cocky little whatever 20 year old, something like that and I was like so I'm here for the sports massage and this class really isn't for me, so I'm going to sleep under the table during your class, you know, cause it's just uh, it's just not, it's not for me. So, um, thank you and um, all right. And then I seriously went under the table, fell asleep or or like totally was a just ignored the class. He was like he was totally kind and probably a hundred massages into my career, it was only a hundred, right? I was like, oh, oops, you know, I really holy moly, I'm getting headaches. When people have headaches, I'm getting neck pain. When people have neck pain, I am, I am missing something here. There's no way I can make it in this career If this continues to happen. And I went back to him and I begged. I was like I'm so sorry, sorry, I was so rude to you, but I realized I need this. And he was like oh, I was wondering when you were going to come back, but it was just.
Ruth Cummings:I was raised that way too, like there was no, there's no, there's no room for that, and so I have learned to put all those together and to respect everything that comes to me, I believe, is there for a reason. I don't believe in coincidences and yeah, it's been. I have some stories, angie, but we don't have time today, but it's just been. I'm so honored. I love my career and my husband used to tell me he goes. I'm so jealous of you because it's like God came and touched you on the shoulder and said you know what you should do this? And you said, okay, and you've been doing it since you were little and, like you, you know you have your passion, you make money with your passion and you help people. Like you do exactly what you were told and you're just having a blast at it and I agree with that. So you know, I think that following your passion is I'm also really helping people. Try to do that, because it just makes life so much easier.
Angie Colee:I'm a big fan of following your passion and I admit to being a little bit envious of that too, because every time I told people what lights me up and what makes me happy, I got the message that that's really hard to do. You should do something that is a little bit more stable and more guaranteed. And I know the hard thing about reconciling all that, because I told them I wanted to be a writer and I wanted to be a musician. Those are the things that make me happy and, of course, we all know what the response to that is. You don't want to be a starving artist. That's a super competitive field. Everybody wants to be a writer. Everybody wants to be a musician.
Angie Colee:Good luck, You're in for an uphill battle and at the time and I know that comes from a place of caring that they're trying to protect me from having my heart and my dreams stomped all over. So that's what makes it difficult to reconcile this. I know this comes from love and I also know deep in my soul that you are fucking wrong. And I also know deep in my soul that you are fucking wrong. This is something I need to do, and every time, I ignored that need to create, to express myself, to write, and tried to push it down and do something else. Quote unquote more professional. I was miserable, I suffered and I would have thoughts of this would be a lot easier if I weren't here.
Ruth Cummings:Wow, yeah, that's scary, but that's very common, you know, and I'm very sorry that you went through that because it's interesting, because every time, every single, every single thought is something that gets stuffed under the rug, you know. So, like our rug is the body, the, the, the dirt is the stress or the, the bad statement, and then our mind is the broom, you know. So it goes let's just put it into the body, let's just put it back into the body, and it keeps doing that and unfortunately, it has to go somewhere. And if you can't let it out with singing or whatever, it does build and it does create this armor for us and it does kind of it. You know, it makes it harder for us to love and harder for us to be loved, and it's a whole, it's a whole thing and I am, I'm really proud of you, for look where you are, you know, good for you, it's still a work in progress, it's still a struggle.
Angie Colee:So you know and that's part of the impetus behind this show is that I just wanted to show people that struggle and success aren't mutually exclusive. Just because you see somebody on stage shining like a rock star and they've got the business that you've always wanted, doesn't mean that there's not something under the surface that they're super struggling with, and that was really important for me to share with people, because that changed the course of my whole life. Like you don't have to be perfect. Look at us showing up here with our broken bodies and our sometimes dejected spirits and still waking up every day to try again. Like what a miracle. How freaking badass are you waking up and choosing to be here today for everybody listening? I love you. If nobody's told you that lately, I absolutely love you. I say that from the bottom of my heart. We want you here. You need to create. You need to be here. You need to inspire your fellow human being. You need to inspire yourself. I did not anticipate that rant coming out today, but here we are.
Ruth Cummings:Well, you know, yeah, I mean loving each other. That's what we're here for and I think a lot of times we forget that Again. Um, I think a lot of times we forget that again, it has to start with ourselves. But even when we're not loving ourselves, like if you go out and you help somebody, or just smile, what I tell my guys, like if you're, if you're just down and you're like, oh, I don't have any money, I don't have any ideas, I'm going to, you know, every my whole life's going to go, or at the park or anywhere you can find another human um to pay it forward just with a smile can really change your life and theirs. And I have a whole, I have a whole presentation on just the power of a smile and I think that we, we have a lot of power towards others and if, if just a smile can change someone's life, then you know, I think that helps your life. Just know how powerful it can be in the, in the days that you just don't feel like you're you're going anywhere.
Ruth Cummings:I can remember, I mean, the amount of days there's. Definitely, angie, I think we've talked about this before there's more times, um, feeling down almost than there are like, hey, I've got this. Oh my gosh, I, you know, I. There's just all those, all that doubt where you, I'm a list maker and I'm actually writing a book with Cindy, right With Cindy Childress, who's also in our mastermind, a great friend of both of ours, and Cindy, you know, she's like Ruth, you know you've given me the same list about eight times and I've made the same list. That's how my mind, you know, and because I doubt, I have this doubt of what, or maybe I'm going to miss something and so.
Ruth Cummings:I have the same list and I give it to her and I'll make a same list on the notes app center, that way, and I don't realize it's the same list. I think I'm really making some progress on my book and she's like, hmm, um, ruth and you know she's so gentle and kind and she's like, can we you've this is the same list. And I was like what? And yeah, I'm learning, like that's what I do, is. I repeat, what I know is positive and that's because what I teach that when you are doing something like for you, the singing, if someone's out there and there's a time where you feel really good maybe it's gardening, maybe it's hugging your pet, maybe it's cooking there's different ways.
Ruth Cummings:We all have our own ways and if there's one thing that makes you feel better, like why does it make you? Where in your body does it feel better? And try to do more of that, do more of that and then try to like like an eclipse that can eclipse, like the this week, that can eclipse the other, the negatives, the imposter syndrome, the. You know I don't deserve this and I'm just. You know what am I? Why am I even trying? You know, I can remember starting my massage business and the people at my parents church were like so um, why are you learning how to be a prostitute? What? Wow, oh my.
Angie Colee:God Thank you so much. Talk about a logical leap there. And no disrespect to sex workers Like okay, come on Right. Yeah, oldest profession, do what you got to do. More power to you, be safe.
Ruth Cummings:Yes, be safe.
Angie Colee:Yes.
Ruth Cummings:It was just some, you know, and like to not take that personally, like you're saying it's hard not to go and um, obviously, cause I'm saying it now, here we are, 30 years later. I'm like huh, um, but that was a definite you shouldn't do this, you can't do this. This is a terrible thing for you All. That list that you make, you know, you make in your head, after all they say is one word to you and it's like wow, wow, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna make this work, you know, and so, and I did, and I'm proud of it, you know, absolutely.
Angie Colee:Well, I think that's fascinating. I wanted to circle back to something that you said and unpack it a little bit, because we were kind of talking about when everything is intense and like why am I even trying? This is such a struggle. Right At the root of all of that and I say this without any trace of judgment whatsoever is me. I'm suffering, my life is hard. This is a struggle for me. I don't like this, right and I'm not saying that you don't matter when I say this, but right.
Angie Colee:But when you're the center of the universe and your world is this small, like I'm holding up my fist to the camera so that people can see, of course, your problems are literally taking up the entirety of everything available, right. And so one of my friends actually changed my life. She's a psychotherapist by the name of Dr Julie Helmrich and she said most people think that when you're in this space where, like, all of your problems are taking up all of your life and there's no room to breathe, that the answer is to shrink the problem somehow. And that is not the answer. The answer is actually to expand your world so that the problem doesn't take up as much of that. And that really helped me to understand this, what I call me versus me thinking, versus mission thinking.
Angie Colee:When the world is all about me and my problems, that's when I tend to hear that quiet little thought that would say it's easier if I'm not here, right, because my problems take up all of my vision, all of the air around me and it's hard to see. But doing something like you said, going outside and reminding myself there are other people in the world they're also suffering too, can I do a little thing like smile, compliment someone's outfit, start a conversation with a stranger and see how they're doing today? That will just add a little bit more positivity to the world and I think that'll reflect back to me and do some good for me too. Fantastic, let's do that. So I'm a big fan of like reminding myself when stuff gets tough. Get out there and remind yourself it's a big old, big old world. We are a speck of dust on this giant blue rock hurtling through space. Oh worlds, we are a speck of dust on this giant blue rock hurtling through space.
Ruth Cummings:There's a lot left to do and we can still have a hell of a good time, even if today is pretty rough. Yes, no, I totally agree. The smile you know you're talking about that I talk about in my smile presentation, about and Mel Robbins, there's some other people that mentioned this If you go in front of a mirror and you smile to yourself, it's very hard to be angry. And then that moment and like practice, your best smile. And I also tell people like when they're walking into a room, you're feeling really insecure, what I've always done since I was little. I don't know how this came up, but I, I I can remember doing this in Germany so that was before I was seven and I'm walking into a room with a bunch of people I've never met or they're angry with me, and I walk in as if I've just heard the funniest joke and I'm kind of laughing like I just heard it, like that's so good. And then you come into the room like that, and people are like you know, they look at you and they smile, and then they, and then you've got this whole. Okay, we've dissipated the. You know, they look at you and they smile, and then they, and then you've got this whole. Okay, we've, we've dissipated the, you know, the, the discomfort, and at least I have a smile over there, and so, like then I would look, I'm like, okay, I've got four smiles, all right, which was best. And then I would go over that way and I've told people to do that and I still do that to this day Like if I'm feeling insecure, I just smile my chest out and I'm like, oh, my God, that was the biggest joke and it's no joke and it's so funny. It works every time. And I, I that's one of my things that I do to deal with my stress of, like you know, I'm, I'm quite an extrovert, but there's times where I'm I'm an introvert which is really interesting because my parents are but so, anyway, smiling just and giving.
Ruth Cummings:Another thing I like to say is to pay it forward. Pay it forward Just, even if you don't feel like you've gotten anything, like you're feeling in lack. You know, oh, no one, no one gives me anything. So I don't want to give anybody back. And I'm like, well, that's not where it starts. It starts with you Go and give for it, pay it forward, and then you'll get back, and that has never failed. That has never failed, and I just encourage people to do that too. All those things that I'm telling you. They help the body. Every time you smile, your body relaxes. Every time you give, your body relaxes. Giving is more about us, because we get so much from it. It calms, it, puts things together. It really calms the body. It, it, it connects all those electric points I was telling you about before, all by yourself, just by smiling.
Angie Colee:So oh, that is like that's the perfect note to just wrap it up, tie it in a little bow, just smile and breathe. Okay, uh, I could go for like three more hours because this is fascinating to me, but I'm going to cut it short here. Please tell us more. Where do we learn how to work with you? Where do we look all of this stuff up? What can we? How can we work with you? I want to know.
Ruth Cummings:Perfect, thank you. So I'm working on a book, but it's not ready. That's going to have all it's. It's, it's a, a reference guide of everything that I've ever learned about where things are held in the body and all those things. So that's coming.
Ruth Cummings:But I do what's called a body audit, so, and that will be in the show notes and what, and it's online and what that? What? What happens is I, you and I talk on zoom and I can when I say you, I mean your listeners and I can look at their body and tell them where they're, where they're hurting and what it means and how to get rid of it, and we do a body map and it's a whole thing. It's what I did for you, but you know, but I can do it online and it's going really well. We just started these last year and my team is just so cool and it's really fun and I'm on I'm Ruth Cummings coaching on Instagram and, yeah, anybody can get ahold of me there, or you can go to my website, ruthcummingscom, and you can get ahold of me at support at ruthcummingscom, and so I'm happy to help and I can give you some ideas also to work with teams or with teens or whatever. I'm happy to help.
Angie Colee:All right, I'm gonna make sure that they have clickable links to all of these things in the show notes so that it's as easy as possible to get ahold of you. Thank you so much for being a wonderful guest. I'm like I'm going into the rest of my recording day with such a big smile.
Ruth Cummings:Oh yeah, hey, I want to let you know also. I'm letting your, your listeners, have my body audit for free until I yeah, cause it's $300 for free until yeah, because it's $300, for free until April 22nd I'm not sure when this is airing, but then it swaps over to a paid version. So if they still need it for free, they can DM me and we'll make it happen.
Angie Colee:All right. Thank you so much. What an incredibly generous offer. What an incredibly generous offer. Thank you so much, because you're awesome. You're awesome. Let's just keep this awesome fest going. Thank you so much for being on this show. I'll talk to you soon. That's all for now. If you want to keep that kick-ass energy high, please take a minute to share this episode with someone that might need a high-octane dose of you Can Do it. Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe to the Permission to Kick Ass podcast on Apple Podcasts, spotify and wherever you stream your podcasts. I'm your host, angie Coley, and I'm here rooting for you. Thanks for listening and let's go kick some ass.