Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell: Breaking up with Burnout

In the chaos of constant comparisons, we're all hunting down 'perfection' as if it's this magical shortcut. Spoiler alert: it's not! What if, instead, we tossed aside the pursuit of perfection and zeroed in on what genuinely brings YOU joy? Let's face it, joy is a uniquely personal experience. Join Lynita and me as we explore why crafting a life on YOUR terms holds the golden key to discovering authentic happiness. Listen now!

Can’t-Miss Moments From This Episode:

• If you're squeezing yourself into an "I must excel at all times" suit, Lynita and I are here to drop a truth bomb on why being good enough is good enough (and being 'the best in the biz' isn't all it's cracked up to be)…
   
• The “Burnout Boomerang”: Work too much, exhaust ourselves, hit rock bottom, rinse, and repeat. What if there was another way? Lynita is sharing her wakeup call, and how kicked her toxic relationship with burnout to the curb…
   
• Truth Bomb: you don’t ever cross the finish line into happiness (unless you mean the FINAL finish line, perhaps). If you’re feeling like life is constantly moving the goalposts and you’ll never find happiness, Lynita and I have some practical steps you can start taking TODAY...
   
• Time to turn off the autopilot? It’s become all too easy to follow someone else's version of success, without stopping to question whether it’s right for YOU. Lynita has a fascinating take on playing by your own rules…
   
• If it feels like finding your bliss is a sham sold by a guru with a McMansion, listen up! You already have the capability to be happy more frequently, more deeply, and more easily than you ever thought possible. Lynita and I share our favorite mindset shifts to help you quickly banish the “blah”...
   

This one is jam-packed full of advice. Don’t miss out - listen now!

Lynita’s Bio:

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell is the Intuitive Business Coach™ who leads her clients to Live Life on FIRE for the Ultimate Successful Life with peace, joy, and fulfillment!

Lynita has built an award winning law firm and publishing house, is a #1 Bestselling Author, CPA, an ordained New Thought Minister, and recognized nationally as an outstanding community leader. Based on her latest book, Lynita loves sharing the formula to the Ultimate Successful Life with Peace, Joy, and Fulfillment!
 

Resources and links mentioned:

• Lynita’s Website 
• Lynita on Facebook
• Lynita on Instagram 
• Lynita on Threads
• Lynita on LinkedIn
• Lynita on Twitter
• Lynita on TikTok

Transcript

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (00:00):

Angie Colee (00:03):

Welcome to Permission to Kick Ass, the show that gives you a virtual seat at the bar for the real conversations that happen between entrepreneurs. I'm interviewing all kinds of business owners from those just a few years into freelancing to CEOs, helming nine figure companies. If you've ever worried that everyone else just seems to get it and you're missing something or messing things up, this show is for you. I'm your host, Angie Colee, and let's get to it. And welcome back to Permission to Kick Ass with me today is my new friend, Lynita Mitchell Blackwell, the intuitive business coach. I like it already. Say hi.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (00:41):

Hi everyone. How are you tonight, .

Angie Colee (00:45):

It's good. It's a hot You are. You are officially my last podcast recording of August. Yes. I'm so ready for fall. I'm so ready for fall. Uh, I don't know about you are, are you a fall girly? A summer girly. What's your season?

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (01:00):

I'm a fall, spring kind of a girl. Mm-Hmm, . Nothing too extreme. I like the coolness in the air.

Angie Colee (01:06):

Me too. I don't like the extremes on either side. I'm, I'm happy to visit, but I don't wanna stay there. Give me the, give me the transition periods. I love that. Agreed. So anyway, weather ran, died. Tell us a little bit about your business.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (01:20):

Absolutely. So, as the intuitive business coach, I help people who live amazing lives. To live lives full of peace, joy, and fulfillment. I find, Angie, that most of us are doing a phenomenal job living in our purpose and in our passion, but we get a little caught up trying to live perfect lives as opposed to excellent ones. And the difference being that the perfect life, you're literally checking off the boxes on someone else's list, get good job, make good money, get a family, have all these things, the accs Mm-Hmm. . Right. But we don't necessarily pause to consider whether those were our checklist list items. Yes. And so we wind up caught up with always trying to chase happy. And you are not going to get there and stay happy is transitional. And it is externally determined. What you're trying to get to is joyful. And so I help people become joyful. And that is an internal job. That's an inside job. Yes. It's, it's, it's gratitude. It's Thanksgiving. It is realizing that whether it's sunny outside or it's snowing outside, we're grateful to even be alive and able to determine the change in the season.

Angie Colee (02:42):

Yes. Oh my gosh. I just, I feel like we need to be up on a pedestal. I need a gospel group in the background. I want that on a billboard or a sign somehow. That is my favorite intro of a business whatsoever because I, I love that there, there's so much interesting synchronicity. Whenever I record these shows, I was literally just talking to the last person that I had on very brilliant financial coach. And we talked about the same thing about knowing your goals and knowing your motivation and your reason why. I was telling her the story that I had with my own coach about a moment of frustration when I was like, I'm not hitting that million dollar mark as best as I want to. And I'm frustrated. And my coach walked me through. So, so what does having that million dollar business help you to achieve?

Angie Colee (03:29):

What's, what's the reason you wanna get there? And I said, I want to spoil my loved ones rotten. I'm talking, taking my best girlfriends on an all expenses paid vacation where we don't have to worry about the bills. I'm talking about eating any kind of food. I want to, taking any kind of adventure or trip I want to without having to worry about how it's gonna hit. Right. I, those are the reasons I wanna travel. I wanna live the good life. I wanna build some memories. I wanna have some weird, funky experiences. That's what I'm doing this for. And he goes, okay, okay. I love that. I love that. Great goals, great goals. Remind me, where are you? And I was like, uh, I'm, I'm in southern California. 'cause I'm a digital nomad, so I'm traveling. At the time I was in Southern California. He goes, and what did you do last week?

Angie Colee (04:12):

And I said, I was at Disneylands with my two best girlfriends, . And he was like, oh. And so did you, did you spoil them and enjoy some good food and have some adventures? And I was like, yeah. Okay. I see what you're getting at. Like the Yeah. The goals and the things that we attach ourselves to can force us to lose sight of what we have achieved, what we truly want, what is actually gonna make us happy. And the thing that you said that was so freaking brilliant, I want it on a shirt, but I'm gonna have to find a, a more succinct way to say it. Happiness is an inside job is trans, or is happiness is transitional. We're looking for joy. Joy. It's

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (04:53):

The inside job. Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. .

Angie Colee (04:56):

Ah, I'm a big fan of that. 'cause I feel like so many of us start our business journey feeling like we're trying to climb to number one, we're trying to climb up to a pedestal.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (05:04):

Yes. Yes. Once,

Angie Colee (05:06):

Once we get there, the swings will never happen again. And I'm like, first of all, can you picture standing on a pedestal for the end of time? You're gonna have to pee and take a shower and come down off that you're gonna cramp up. Like nobody wants to stand on a pedestal. It's not interesting or entertaining. You're gonna get bored. Yeah. Stop it with that fantasy life is in the swings. Let's try and make them less wild and devastating, but, uh, swing it more toward joy more often. I like that .

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (05:32):

Yeah. And you know, to your point about being on a pedestal, we're all trying to achieve something that someone else has. And I hate to tell everybody they're imitating and emulating someone else too.

Angie Colee (05:46):

Yep.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (05:46):

We're working to be the Jones, and they're working to be the Jacksons Mm-Hmm. .

Angie Colee (05:51):

Right.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (05:52):

What are we doing here?

Angie Colee (05:55):

Oh, that's so great. Well, what got you into this line of work? How did you stumble into helping people find their joy in their business?

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (06:03):

So I did not stumble. Gosh. Um, my avatar is me. Yes. I, yeah. I, I'm just tell the truth. I have had a wonderful life, grew up a beautiful family and community that always said, you can do it. Lynita. Go, baby. Go. Mm-Hmm. . And I did, uh, I've achieved a lot of wonderful things in my life. I'm an attorney. I have my own firm, ACPA, an author, a speaker. I have a beautiful husband and daughter. And I just kept going, Angie, because I liked hearing people say, oh, you're just so wonderful, . I just love being around you. Oh, go Lynita. Go. And that served me until it didn't. Mm-Hmm. one day, my six year old at the time, she found me passed out in the middle of the floor from exhaustion. Oof. And I did not have the energy to get up and tuck her in. She literally got her Disney princess' blanket off her bed and put it over my body and a pillow and put it under my head. She said, goodnight, mommy. And kissed me on the forehead. And only thing that I had energy to do was say, goodnight, baby.

Angie Colee (07:15):

Oh, sweet baby .

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (07:17):

Mm-Hmm. . And it was, at that point, I knew I had to do something different, but I didn't know what, and so we, I did what most people do. You'd go back to what you were doing, even though there's no way that's going to get any change in your life. And so I just kept running harder until my body shut down on me. Mm-Hmm. Um, I just, I developed stage four endometriosis, and after a series of incredibly brutal surgeries, I just said to God, I was just like, if you bring me out of this, I will find the people who can help me to get my life together. I was about to say something else. Mm-Hmm. But get my life together. .

Angie Colee (08:00):

You can say whatever you want to on the permission to Kick Ass podcast. I'm just saying,

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (08:05):

Well, okay. Get my together. How

Angie Colee (08:07):

About that? Yes.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (08:08):

Because that's what needed to happen. And so I started working with a performance coach for Rena Beck, and she made me write down everything that I was doing. And it was seven pages long, single space. And she said, you, yeah. Yes. Serious talk. Because it wasn't just that you are a mom. Right. It's everything that's involved with being a mom. It's pickup and drop off and cupcakes and field trips. It's shopping and hair, and it's all of that. Right? Mm-Hmm. . And she said, you've gotta get this down to two pages. Mm-Hmm. . Oh. Which meant that there were things that I was involved in and leading that were very positive and great for the community, but they weren't consistent with my purpose and my goals at that time, which was to get well. Mm. And so they had to go. And in doing that, I began to heal not just the internal from the surgery, but spiritually and emotionally as well.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (09:11):

And I don't know if a lot of people are willing to even say this out loud, but you can tell when a person has gone through something, by the way they look Mm-Hmm. . Like there are these lines in their face that, you know, are not from age, that is pure stress, baby. And so , once that started to clear up, people were like, what? What have you been doing? Like, and I, and I share with, I mean, I, I use a good face cream. I love that Lumme. Yeah. . But there's only so much that can do. There's stuff that inside job. And so I started talking to people and I noticed that there are so many people who are high achieving, achieving wonderfully ambitious, and who have great attitudes, but they're so unhappy. Mm-Hmm. . And I was that person because every time I got to a place where somebody promised that once I got here, I was gonna be happy. The line moved.

Angie Colee (10:10):

Mm-Hmm. . Oh, that's the perfect analogy for it. The line moved because I think we treat it like a finish line. And, and baby doll sweetheart, everybody listening, the finish line is death. That's the finish line. . So if you're with Yes,

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (10:27):

Angie, yes.

Angie Colee (10:28):

You're waiting until you're gone to be happy. What the hell kind of goal is that. Be happy while you're here. Yes. The finish line is a few feet in front of you. Make one up and cross it and celebrate and then make another one up and cross it and celebrate. And on we go until the final finish line.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (10:45):

Until That's right. I love that. Mm-Hmm. Yes. So that's how I got into this work. People saw what I was doing. They said, I need some of that. Mm-Hmm. And so I said, okay, let's do it. ,

Angie Colee (10:59):

I love that you are the, it's always synchronicity when I have these conversations, but I feel like I'm having a lot of conversations lately with people about having the, the folks around you reflect what's really awesome and what the world needs from you back at you. Yes. Like, it's not necessarily something that you set out to do with, this is my ultimate goal, but people came to you and said, I need some of that. What are you doing? Teach me your ways. And then it becomes a path, a calling. Ah, so great . There was something that you said that really just hit me in the heart, and I wrote it down, passed out from exhaustion, body shut down. Mm-Hmm. . And this is something I'm really passionate about with the folks that I know in entrepreneurship too. And just in general, it's high achievers that feel driven, push just a little bit harder until we get to the thing, you know what rest is part of the process. Rest is part of the success. And if you don't make yourself a priority and your health a priority, your body will make itself a priority eventually. And that's gonna be much tougher to bounce back from than any, you know, day or two or even a week of rest that you could take from, from exhaustion. Wow. I just, what an incredible story.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (12:17):

. And, and it's true. And I'm gonna tell you, there were so many signs leading up to that. Mm. My hair had started breaking off and all I did was purchase wigs. Angie, I had a wig collection that would've made Beyonce herself jealous. I'm telling Man, honey, honey. And my nails split straight down. So not across, I'm talking about straight down, like up the sitter. Yes. Girl. And so all I did was go to the nail shop and my nails out, they will always fly. Mm-Hmm. . And so I was, I just learned how to cover up Mm-Hmm. But that moment when my child found me, there's no covering up that there's nothing there that scared me. Mm-Hmm. . She just thought I was sleepy, thank god. Mm-Hmm. . But that was not sleepy.

Angie Colee (13:15):

Yeah. Well, and that's inter a lot of the women entrepreneurs that I know, especially the ones who are moms who are building a business because they want to be able to spend time with their family, have a similar drive and a similar need to achieve. And I wonder if we were able to, and I say this from the perspective of a non mom, so know that I say it with a lot of care, but I may get it wrong. Right. Um, I wonder if we were able to flip that script and not say, the lesson that I want my, my children to take from this is not, look how hard mommy works. Mommy gave up everything and worked herself so hard and made it be, mommy showed me how to take care of myself. How to build something I can be proud of, while also making the important things a priority. Like I feel like we could undo a lot of capitalist damage to ourselves if we flipped that script and said, what are we showing the people around us?

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (14:15):

Right. I, I totally agree. But it would require us to first rewrite what success is. Mm-Hmm. . And if we get to a place where success is being peaceful Yes. And joyful in the moment that success is loving our families and just appreciating what we have right here, right now. And I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with ambition. Mm-Hmm. Some of the greatest inventions that we have is because people were not happy with status quo and push forth. What I'm saying is that there was something in them, them that they were able to tap into despite their circumstances. Yes. And that was knowing that they were on the right track. That's a, that's a joyful place.

Angie Colee (15:01):

Yeah. It's interesting to me that we can use those overachievers, the world changers as an example of, of drive and how to achieve awesome things and how to push yourself. And also I see that as more of a season, not a system or a way of being. And I think we get the two confused that you think you have to be in hustle and grind mode all the time. And first of all, I hate hustle, hustling, grind. If anything, I'm pro hustle and I'm anti grind. Grinding is just, that's not pleasant. Let's not do that to ourselves. We've only got the one body, the one life. And

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (15:39):

How I

Angie Colee (15:39):

Don't wanna grind anything in that life.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (15:42):

You know, I, I totally agree. And, you know, you were talking about a system. Mm-Hmm. , I use the word system because people are familiar with it. Mm-Hmm. . But like you, I don't really like that either. I try to use the word blueprint because that in my mind is more like a plan. And most people understands that when with a plan, that a plan can be modified based on what's going on. Mm-Hmm. . 'cause we're all doing the best we can with what we have. Yes. And if we're talking about living a life of excellence versus one of perfection Mm-Hmm. , then that means that we know that that excellence is going to look differently in our forties than it did in our twenties. Or it should .

Angie Colee (16:26):

Yes, yes, yes. Oh my gosh. It

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (16:29):

Should look the same. Y'all, we should be growing, doing better. But understanding that that is going to differ depending on what's going on. I don't expect you to be at your 100 if you just buried your mom. Get outta here with that. Right. But at the same time, I, I do expect more out of you if you're at one of those defined periods of life where everything is going your way. I mean, total complete harmony and synchronicity. Mm-Hmm. that, that I'm going to have a higher expectation of you. But even in that, my expectations of you should have no bearing on how you live your life.

Angie Colee (17:07):

Yes. I know. I've worked with some entrepreneurs before who thought that when they left the corporate job and they started their own thing. But that means I'm trading, you know, 20% of the time I'm happy. 80% of the time I'm overworked and unsatisfied for a hundred percent of the time. I am now happy because it is my own thing, my own way. And I'm like, girl, lemme tell you about the reality of business. I'm happy 80% of the time with what I've chosen to do, and probably 20% of the time I am questioning my judgments and wondering why I ever got into this or super frustrated with clients, or I just don't wanna work at all. And I hate everybody for no particular reason. But yeah, that's what I'm aiming for. More of an 80 20. I don't think a hundred percent is going to be reasonable or feasible for anybody.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (17:52):

Yeah. And I, I think once you get into like the second part of your career, or if you change careers that kind of clicks for you. Mm-Hmm. , I remember in undergrad and, and working to be become an accountant, you know, graduating at the top of my class, that was everything to me. That was the holy grail. And I was going to get that ring dog grant. Mm-Hmm. who got in my way. They were gonna get run over by the time I'm serious. But after working a couple years in corporate and for big firms, I went back to law school and my goal was just to do well enough to get out Mm-Hmm. and get a, you know what I'm saying? Because

Angie Colee (18:34):

D for degree .

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (18:35):

Yeah. I mean, serious talk. I had a solid B average and I was okay with that. And I was happy for my colleagues who went off and got those big jobs with the big dollars. And I was okay because I knew I did not want to go back to that life. Mm-Hmm. , because they were going to, those firms were going to get every penny plus some that they had invested in those young people.

Angie Colee (19:04):

Oh, yes. One of the best realizations that I have had in my life and my career is I don't wanna be the best. I used to, I used to, when I was young, being the best, being number one was super important to me. I would cry in band if I lost first chair clarinet. If somebody beat me out. The truth is that they practiced more than I did. So they beat me. And that happens from time to time. But at, at some point along the way, I realized that to get to that 1% of the 1%, the truly elite, you have to work so freaking hard. I think I heard a story about, uh, Michael Phelps getting up at like four o'clock in the morning to, to go to the gym and swim for several hours and he can eat like three pizzas worth of food in a day just to keep his metabolism running. And I'm like, I don't, wow. I'm impressed. Bravo, sir. And I don't wanna work that hard. I really just don't. Good enough. It is good enough for me.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (20:03):

, I mean, for real. Uh, Kobe Bryant and, um, Venus and Serena Williams. Mm-Hmm. Three 30 mm-Hmm. Three 30 in the morning. I'm just, yeah. Every day.

Angie Colee (20:13):

I'm so not a morning person. every

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (20:15):

Day. Mm-Hmm. Oh,

Angie Colee (20:19):

Oh man. And no shade. If you want to be the best, just know that with being the best means that there's somebody nipping at your heels trying to take you down so that they can be the best. And that was just a dynamic that at one point I decided I wasn't interested in anymore. I'm not interested in competing to be the best. I don't want anybody arguing about whether I'm the best, if I'm in the reasonable, like top five to 10%, I'm happy with the effort that I have put in, in, because I'm gonna go live my life with the rest of the effort that I would've spent trying to get to. Number one. That's just me.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (20:53):

Well, you know what, I actually talk about this in my book, the moment when you realize that you are not the best, you're the only.

Angie Colee (21:01):

Hmm. Ooh, tell me more about that.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (21:04):

Yeah. So I was , oh, this is almost embarrassing, but I, I laugh about it. So it's not , um, when, when the Peloton bites came out, right? Mm-Hmm. . So the height of the pandemic and all the rest of that, and I'm riding, and my whole thing was just to not be last on the leaderboard. Mm-Hmm. I did not understand is that the leaderboard has two parts. There's who's there right here, right now, and who has been there at any point in time. Hmm. And so that's a recording . And so once I realized that, I was like, well, who was here live? I was racing against myself. There was no one else in that class at that moment but me. Mm. And that's when it hit. And so that's what you just said. See, once the, the competition and wanting to be the best and all that goes away, now you have really hit your stride and you are running your race and doing what you have been placed here to do. Mm-Hmm. . Oh, and then your pa Yeah. And your passion, your power, it goes into that Mm-Hmm. . So you're not looking left, you're not looking right. You're not paying any attention to what anybody else is wearing. You are just running your race. Mm-Hmm. .

Angie Colee (22:27):

Oh, I love that. I love that. And I think that that just makes it so much more clear. Why, you know, my background is in marketing. I always thought when I was working with people, they would worry about the competition and I would be like, yeah, you wanna be aware of competitors. But I wouldn't say I don't like competition. I always think of everybody as collaborators. They're potential partners because they're gonna have weaknesses in some areas that I'm strong. I'm gonna have we, uh, weaknesses in areas that they're strong. Like we could be potential referral partners. We don't have to be competing against each other. We could work together. And the folks that constantly think that they've got a guard for threats, I think are playing defensively instead of playing offensively. And that's something I'm passionate about telling people. There's a difference between playing to win and playing not to lose.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (23:17):

Yes. Yes.

Angie Colee (23:18):

And one of those is doing the bare minimum to just eek across that finish line and defend what you've already fought for. And one is shooting for the fences and going for the incredible, the impossible dream. Right. So I wanna play to win. I don't wanna just do enough to defend what I've got.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (23:35):

Yes. I love that. Mm-Hmm. play to win, not to defend what I've got. Yep. Heck yeah. Oh, that's a T-shirt.

Angie Colee (23:45):

We're gonna spit gold all day today. So, um, all right. Abrupt segue, take me back. So, uh, people were asking, what are you doing? I see the changes in you. What is the magic? What is the secret? So what got you to, I know that this was a deliberate choice to get into this line of coaching, but what was it like to start that business, to change pace from what you were doing before? I'm curious.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (24:10):

So it was very interesting because when I first, I still work. Like I still have my law firm and I am a practicing attorney. I love that. And so, me too, because when I'm working with people, I am not the person who left and lived among the monks for four years. And, and I don't have real life going on in the background. And so when I'm talking to people, I am coming to them with real life stuff. Mm-Hmm. . So the first thing that I teach anybody and I share this is we, we gotta clean up your, your your me time. And by that I mean your prayer and meditation time. Hmm. Um, you spend time with the God of your understanding. I don't care what you call them or her Mm-Hmm. . But you need to spend some time with that higher power every day.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (25:06):

Yeah. And you need to spend time talking as well as listening. Mm-Hmm. 'cause it really sets the tone for your day. Mm-Hmm. , then you need to stretch. Yes. You don't have to do all these strenuous workouts and, and beat up your knees. Half of these folks are athletes, or they used to be, and I don't expect you to run a marathon, right? Mm-Hmm. . But your body does need to be stretched out every single day. Every day. Now we have our, our mind, we have our emotion, and we have our bodies in a good place. And over a period of time, they will sync up and they will operate. So that now we can tap into what I call the aggregate intelligence. Hmm. So this is every part of you, spiritual, emotional, physical, that now come together so that we can play all out, full out.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (26:07):

Right? Yes. And so we are showing up in the world as a complete and whole being. Mm-Hmm. . And we're the same person when we're dealing with our family as we're dealing with our clients, as we're dealing with people in the community, one of the things that I had to learn to do was to take off the mask. Hmm. It's one thing if I am communicating in a different way to your audience than I was someone else's on a podcast. Yeah. But what I am saying, the gist of it needs to be the same Mm-Hmm. . And most of us, we are taught to put on a mask. I mean, put it on armor, right? Yes. You holding people back and I'm teaching people to take that off and to show up as themselves. Mm-Hmm.

Angie Colee (26:55):

. Oh. Because when I love that. Because

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (26:57):

Yeah. 'cause when you are doing that now, there, there is no pretense. There is total and complete transparency. And when you're walking through the world, that is a layer of stress and anxiety that just slides right off of you. You're not worried about, did I say such and such to so and so? Mm-Hmm. , who did I tell them I was today?

Angie Colee (27:20):

Yeah. You don't have to keep track of the little lies and mistruths and misdirections. Hmm. And also you can trust the connections that you've got. 'cause I've, I've dealt with anxiety so much of my life, and it still baffles me to this day when people say, ah, you know, she's brave and she does whatever she wants. Not without a whole lot of internal cycling first, trust me. Uh, it's just that I've got a great network and people that I like to say are loving mirrors, they reflect the truth back at me instead of the distortion that I usually see when I look in my own mirror. Um, yeah. And, uh, it just, I don't know. It, it frustrates me that we get so focused on the wrong things and we fall out of it, out of alignment so quickly. And there's one thing, , that you said, and I don't know why this is getting stuck in my head, but I'm gonna circle it because I feel like everybody needs to stretch for the love of everything in the world that you hold dear.

Angie Colee (28:20):

Uh, as somebody who pulled a hamstringing last week in the gym and was told literally by my trainer, that was because your, your hips are tight because you sit most of the day and you are not getting up and take care of this body. I know that that's like a random rant outta there, but you said it, and I'm just gonna pile onto that. Uh, get out there, be spiritual, be in nature. If you need to be pray, meditate. Yes. Stretch. Yes. Absolutely. This is all the, and how all of this ties back to what I was ranting about with the connection in my mind means you, you don't have to second guess yourself. You don't have to worry about and overanalyze the things that you're saying to people because you're not putting a filter on what you're saying before you speak to people. You are making actual, legit deposits into these relationship banks. And so if you do occasionally say something wrong or you have a bad day and you get snappy, you can trust those relationships to withhold and endure despite the strain because you've spent so much time being a genuine connection to this person. Yeah. Yeah.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (29:27):

That's right. That's right.

Angie Colee (29:28):

Another thing that you said that I really love that I wanted to highlight was the fact that you still work at your law firm and then you were building this practice and you're becoming an author. One thing that I see happen a lot in entrepreneurship along with this like competition and the need to be the best, is to be only one thing or another. Like if you hold on to the day job or if you run multiple businesses, like you're not focused on any one thing that, that's somehow less than. And it drives me nuts because I want to be somebody that owns multiple businesses, preferably businesses that other people run, so that I just get to jump in and play where I feel inspired to play. Right. But

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (30:04):

Right? That's right. That's right. Well, you, you know, it's interesting that you're talking about these various, um, hats that we wear Mm-Hmm. and whether we can be all those things. And we have to just pick one because, um, I would say maybe about a year ago, I was really having a, a, a moment trying to figure out how to work this because there's lawyer Lynita and then there's Coach Lynita. And I was like, should, now I have two different Instagram accounts and tos. I mean, oh, what, what am I doing here? And, you know, I'm one person. I don't wanna have to manage the content for all of that. And then one, one day it just came to me, I was like, you can have separate, just post the same stuff to them. Mm-Hmm. Because your clients understand that you are who you are.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (31:01):

Yeah. Whether it's your legal clients or your coaching clients, what you see is what you get. Mm-Hmm. I'm not posting a picture of me in a bikini over here, and then I'm in a suit over here. No shade for those ladies who got it. Rocket. Yeah. But that's not me. . Mm-Hmm. . So, so I, I, and that's what I do. That's what I do. So no, you do not have to do just one thing at a time. You can do it all. Mm-Hmm. , I just want you to remember that when you do it all, you still have to take care of you first. Yes. So, getting enough rest, drinking, stretching, spending time in the morning with your prayers and your meditations like you said, and to getting out there in nature and being grateful for the opportunity to experience all that beauty. Right? Mm-Hmm. . And so that means that you won't have a whole lot of time for all these 50, 11 million things. As my mom used to say, .

Angie Colee (32:02):

I like that

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (32:03):

50 million. That was what she said. 50,

Angie Colee (32:07):

11 million. I like that a lot. Oh. And it, it turns off the need to kind of doom scroll and fill all the space. You can find out what you actually want. And I know when I'm focused on disconnecting, getting out in nature, spinning the first part of the morning with myself. Yes. Uh, that it really becomes a lot less anxious. I feel like I have a lot more time to get things done. 'cause I'm doing the deep work of thinking. Is that accurate for you too?

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (32:36):

Oh, I totally agree. As a matter of fact, um, my last three books were the result of being out in nature or taking long drives and just letting spirit just flow through me. Mm-Hmm. . And when I felt the feeling, I let it come. And when it was done, that was it. Yeah. Um, and for anybody, I wasn't trying to write or type while I was driving , I used these wonderful phones and recording devices and, and transcribe

Angie Colee (33:06):

Later. Right. We have the tools. We have the tools. Technology is amazing. What a time to be alive. Mm-Hmm. .

Angie Colee (33:13):

Yeah. I, it, it took me such a long time to realize that that was a thing I could do. I mean, hence the title of the podcast, permission to Kick Ass. I mean, that to me means so many things. It's not just, you can go out there and be an expert and help people. It's also you can do things the way that you feel inspired to do them, even if it winds up not being right for you in the long run. What's right for you for right now is perfect. That's fine. That's all it needs to be. And you have permission to figure that out in all That's fine. Of its imperfect glory. So like one day I'm a digital nomad. I don't know if I've, if I've told you that, I know listeners to the show know that I was on the road. I had been on the road for about six months. I wound up in Asheville, North Carolina. Beautiful area of the country. Beautiful.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (33:58):

Yes. It's,

Angie Colee (33:59):

I'm on this front porch, this wraparound front porch out in the woods at my Airbnb. And I remember just thinking to myself, man, if only I could get to someday this nebulous, undefined someday when I could have my long, luxurious morning routine where I don't have to talk to anybody. I don't have to work on any kind of schedule. I don't have to get up and go to work. I can just drink my coffee, stare off into space, maybe listen to Ella Fitzgerald is my favorite morning music. I usually put on like Ella Fitzgerald radio and just kind of have my, uh, jazzy wish I could be a thirties movie star type thing, uh, and rock out. And somewhere in that part of the trip, my brain just went, what the hell are you waiting for? Why do you have what? You don't even have a, a finish line on that one defined.

Angie Colee (34:52):

You don't have what someday looks like that says that you've earned the right to that. Yeah. What if you just started doing it now? And so now that's how I start all of my mornings. It is incredibly rare that I will do any kind of morning meeting or morning call. Yeah. That is my time to do whatever I need to do. Sometimes that's planning on my business. Sometimes it's sleeping in late, sometimes it's having breakfast or like early brunch with my family. And then I do most of my work in the afternoon and evenings. And to me, that's what self-care looks like. It's not necessarily a bubble bath or a spa date, although if that's what self-care looks like to you, great. But it's taking care of the whole body. Like we mentioned, the spirituality, getting outside. Oh, for the love of all that is holy stop staying inside where the only light is your computer screen ?

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (35:37):

Oh my gosh, yes. . That's not how to get a tan. Folks . Mm-Hmm. .

Angie Colee (35:43):

Well, I, I will never get a tan. We don't have to worry about that with me, but I, I find on days when I'm kind of cycling and spinning and overwhelmed and super stressed, that just stepping outside for five minutes. And it helps when, like right now I'm visiting my, my mom's farm and they've got chickens outside. So I'll go outside and like pick up chickens, play around on the farm a little bit, harvest some eggs, and then come back in. And it's just like five minutes outside is a perfect reset for me when I have been sitting on my butt too much in front of this computer.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (36:13):

Yes. Mm-Hmm. . Yes. Yes. Yes. I love it.

Angie Colee (36:16):

I don't know where I was going with that one either, but we're just gonna make it up as we go on this show. Um, so not having to be any one thing, taking care of yourself and then making Mm-Hmm. all of this work as lawyer, as coach, as mom, as member of the community. I mean, what would you say to somebody who was starting down this path? Do you have any words of wisdom?

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (36:42):

Absolutely. Take one day at a time. Literally, you know, we spend so much time, Angie, in our society, worried about tomorrow and making these big plans and next, and strategizing that we forget that if now is not taken care of tomorrow can't come. Yes. Not that it won't, it can't. Mm-Hmm. because when I was ill, I had all these plans, but I didn't have the strength or the wherewithal to execute on not one of them. Mm-Hmm. . So what I learned, and, and I hope that that listener who is starting off hears this, is that if I take care of right here, right now, and I commit 100% to it, then tomorrow falls right into place. Mm-Hmm. . Now, I'm not saying that you don't have work to do. I'm not saying that the hope and the dream. Yeah. I'm just saying that right here, right now. Is it, it has to take precedence over tomorrow. It has to

Angie Colee (37:46):

Mm-Hmm. being anchored right here and right now. And that ties so beautifully to what you were saying before about gratitude. Yeah. I, I, I take an interesting view on gratitude. I think because I kind of got stuck in the surface level gratitude for too long when I was practicing it. And then I just didn't get any benefit from it. And I was confused. Why does everybody say that gratitude is such a life-changing thing? Right. Of course, I've got things to be grateful for my friends, my family, a roof over my head. Right. And I sound ungrateful saying that, but I promise there's a point to this. When I started practicing gratitude for my challenges, for my struggles, yes. For my, for my opportunities, I call them blessings in disguise. Right. Uh, that was when I really got what people were saying about that. Like, right now I can't go to the gym. 'cause like I mentioned earlier, I pulled a hamstringing. Well, I'm grateful, one, that I was strong enough to do that move until I pulled the, the hamstringing. I was doing a workout called Wonder Woman and I pulled my, my hamstringing or no, my quad during a, a move in the Wonder Woman workout. I'm feeling strong even though I'm feeling injured. Right. Were

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (38:49):

You wearing a cave? Angie, tell me you were wearing a cave.

Angie Colee (38:52):

I was not. But now I feel like I need a workout cape.

Angie Colee (38:57):

Have to see if that's dangerous to like do the squat rack with a cape on. But that, that makes me very happy right now, just picturing that. But so I'm, I'm grateful for the circumstances of doing that. I'm grateful that I had a trainer and a group fitness program that able to tell me what they thought happened when I experienced the pain and give me some, some feedback on how to get better. I am grateful that I have the time and space and energy to rest because I wasn't realizing how tired I was. The gym is essential for me. And also it's sometimes it's taking some extra energy and you really just need to rest and recover. Right? So I'm, those are all setbacks in my mind. I would like to continue my, my strengths program and my weight loss journey and my fitness journey.

Angie Colee (39:40):

And also now is the time for rest. And I'm grateful for that and that for that reminder and that it wasn't worse because I didn't push myself past my limits. Right. So that's how I like to practice gratitude now. And that really helps keep me anchored in the present because I can't be feeling sorry for myself that it's not next week when I can get back in the gym. It's not two months from now when I can fit into a smaller dress size or anything like that. That's not what it's about. It's about what I can do right here today. I, I thought what you said was brilliant. Take care of today or tomorrow can't come. Wow. Right in the heart. Right in the feels.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (40:20):

It's the truth.

Angie Colee (40:21):

I can already tell that we need a part two or some like recurring series or something. 'cause I need more of this energy in my life.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (40:28):

Yes. Let's do it.

Angie Colee (40:29):

Angie .

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (40:31):

Yes.

Angie Colee (40:32):

Or for right now, I'm gonna say for anybody that wants to know about working with Lynita, whether it's the lawyer side, whether it's the coach side, I have a feeling they're gonna want you for both drop the sites, tell us how we can learn more, how we can get the book. I want it all.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (40:45):

Absolutely. So the best way to reach me is through my website, Lynita mitchell blackwell.com. And from there you can join my email list. We can connect on social, you can follow my blog posts and we can work together. So I try and keep it simple.

Angie Colee (41:01):

Yes, I love that. I'm gonna make sure that they have clickable links to all of these things in the show notes so that it's easy as possible to find you. Oh my gosh, I needed this today. Thank you so much for being on the show.

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell  (41:12):

You are so welcome. Thank you for having me. This has been a blast.

Angie Colee (41:18):

That's all for now. If you wanna keep that Kick Ass energy high, please take a minute to share this episode with someone that might need a high octane dose. If you can do it, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the Permission to Kick Ass podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you stream your podcast. I'm your host, Angie Colee, and I'm here rooting for you. Thanks for listening and let's go Kick Ass some.